LAX Airport—2.20.12

Sitting here in LAX writing my next entry on MS Word because free internet access in airports is apparently still not a real thing.
Anyway, it’s 9:55pm here (almost midnight back home) and it’s just been a complete whirlwind of a day.  That’s the weird thing about travel.  Just this morning I ws driving around a rental car and visiting my grandparents one last time and now I’m here in Los Angeles for the first time.  (side note: The little bit I’ve seen already makes me want to come back here someday soon and visit).  I really should have gotten out my camera on the plane because it was really awesome to watch LA appear out of the darkness on the plane.  The city just seemed to stretch out forever…and as we neared closer to the groun, watching the little headlights on the cars zipping through traffic, going about their lives, completely unaware that someone is watching them from the sky.  It was just beautiful.

Aside from LA, I’m also one of the like 20-non Asians that I’ve seen while in the intermational section of this airport, ha.  I know I’ll be in for a shock when I hit Korea.  Also, first impression of Asiana Airlines:  very friendly staff.  And al the flight check-in people were all young, attractive and female.

OI.  Sorry that this post is jumping around a bit, but there’s lots to talk about and my brain is feeling sort of scattered anyway.  Probably also shouldn’t go without saying that I was fighting through a breakdown earlier.  I started off in pretty good spirits…nervous, but overall, pretty excited.  It really stated to hit me on the flight from Denver to LA.  When we started descend, I guess I just realized this was my last American stop, last time being…well…comfortable.  This is my country….I know the language, the customs…and just…yeah.  I don’t really know how to describe it.  Part of me is clinging on to what I know and all that’s familiar.
It’s honestly terrifying.  There’s no getting around it.

I know it’s nerve-wracking for several reasons:
*new language…COMPLETELY new language.  There’s nothing familiar to even grasp at.  I’ve taken Spanish and Italian in school before and with that, I can sort of get a general feeling for other words based on the root…but not with this.
*New job—Um.  I’ve never been a teacher before.  What if I’m terrible at it?  What if I get fired?  etc. etc.
*Length of time–Ths is easily the longest I’ve been away from home.  My backpacking trip was for 6 weeks and that was more for the fun of it, and if I didn’t like a location, I could just leave.

It just feels very binding…and I’m scared as hell.
I know I’ll adjust and I’m feeling better now tha I got myself a bottle of ($3.50!!!) water and a sandwich ($8…wtf).  I’m trying to remind myself just to take is slow  Big, deep breaths.  This is all normal.  And to definitely cut myself some slack.  Of course moving to the other side of the planet is terrifying.  I just had a bit of a breakdown after I got off the phone with my brother (who didn’t realize that he couldn’t just call me when he wanted after this last phone call) and I tried so hard to keep myself from bawling in the middle of the airport.
Anyway, I’m doing better now, as I mentioned.  I have less than two hours til my boarding time and about 2 hours 15 minutes til departure.

Anyway, I think that’s about it for now.  Seriously hoping I can get some sleep on this flight.  Also, I’m seeing more non-Asians walking about…wonder how many of them are going to be teaching, like myself.

Currently Reading:  My Sister’s Keeper (Started reading it on my flight from STL to Denver, currently on pg 141.)

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