Loss.

This is another personal piece, but what’s a blog about being on the other side of the planet without telling the whole truth.
The fact is, life goes on whether I’m here in Korea or not, and well…you’re supposed to deal with it the best you can either way.
I found out yesterday morning (for me) that I lost my grandpa.  It’s sort of been a long time coming because he’s been suffering from various ailments for the past few years. Thankfully, I have all the rest of my grandparents around…and even though I/we knew this was coming…it still hit like a ton of bricks.  I’m doing alright, but it’s still sort of come as a shock, and I was honestly in denial when I first heard from my mom.  That part of my brain assumed that my mom had been mistaken or that I had misheard or even made up that whole conversation in my head.

I wish more than anything that I could be there with my family through this and to help support my grandma.  However, I know that my place is here and that I’d be a fool to leave.
The great thing about being an expat is the community of other expats that you find yourself surrounded by.  These new friends become sort of like an extended family.  They know what you’re going through (whether it’s good or bad).
In this case, since I can’t be near my family, I’ve already had some friends checking up on me to make sure I’m alright and that I’m handling it ok.  And…you really need that while you’re “on your own” in another country.  It helps you, or me, feel less isolated.  And it’s wonderful.

I also think it’s going to be really strange to return back home in a year from now.

I wish I could be there to support my grandma (and other members of my family too, but especially her.)  We’ve been through a lot these past few years, as I also lost my dad to brain cancer in 2007   (5 years this December), but I know a lot of good things have happened too.  It’s just a rough few years.  (Partially why I’m doing this.)

Anyway, I’m dedicating this song to my grandma.  Well, and the rest of my family too.  ❤  Love you and miss you guys.  I’m there right with you, just in spirit.

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One thought on “Loss.

  1. So Sorry to hear about your grandpa 😦 I also lost my grandfather on my mom’s side a few years back and even though I hardly knew him it still hit me pretty hard. I suppose that is why I felt horrible amounts of guilt of not having a chance to really talk to him and know what kind of man he was. I know I couldn’t help that he lived in Mexico and the last time we visited him he was real quite…. a man of few words. I just hope that my grandma will still be around so I can visit her after my year in Korea (God willing) ’cause she’s the only other grandparent left… I know no one on my father’s side of my family. I am glad to hear you have a great support network in Korea through.

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