I finally have some time to write my entry on the DMZ, so that’s in this post and also more homesickness. Blech.
As far as the homesickness thing, it definitely comes and goes. It feels a bit like a plague or I guess…a bit like being in quicksand. I know it’s happening, but I just feel like I’m suffocating and I can’t bring myself out of my funk. I’m going to work on making working out more of a priority again..one, because I enjoy it and two, hopefully it will create more structure in my life and help keep the homesickness at bay. Once the feeling hits, I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I was in a complete fog yesterday at work and the thought “this culture is so stupid” kept crossing through my mind no matter what kind of thoughts I could think up to counter it.
It sort of takes over.
Yeah, the quicksand visual seems to represent it the best, IMO.
As far as Skyping people from back home to relieve it, that works to an extent, but then it can also backfire and make me miss home even more.
I’m having a good time, but there still is a really long adjustment period.
The thing is, I think most people here are stressed out because of the “work, work, work!” mentality, and the culture is a drinking culture. Drinking for fun and also going out with the bosses. I’ve only really been a social drinker back home, and that’s not a habit I intend on picking up. However, it could be really tempting if you’re not careful. Stress + the fact that it’s so prevalent…
I just don’t want that for myself, so I need to rely on other means of coping. I think the fact that I’m aware of this will help me though. I know what I want out of this experience, and I tend to pretty good at (if I do say so myself) making things happen if I want them to.
Anyway, I’m feeling better (ish) today. Ready for the weekend though. I really wish I could have packed my mattress when I came over here though. An extremely firm (ie: like the floor) mattress is the standard here. People here often still sleep on the floor (hence the heated floors) or on a mat on the floor, so the mattresses tend to be pretty close to that.
And…if you’re a westerner…um. It’s awful. I need to look around for a good massage place. Anyway, feeling better, but couldn’t get myself to fall asleep last night. Went to bed at midnight and didn’t fall asleep til around 2:30am. I watched the rest of ‘The Pursuit of Happyness” and felt tired enough to sleep, but the negative thoughts from the day were still rolling around in my head.
Oh, and I made a new desktop wallpaper for my computer, and that’s helping too. Anytime I look at it, I feel better.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”