Learning to Fly

So, I’ve got 15 days now til I’m (hey–mid-route) back to the US.
In case you haven’t been following along, I’ve been here four years and will be making returning home at the end of this month.

I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions, especially this month in particular.  I feel like the past few months have been me just saying “Oh yeah, I’m leaving in February” and it officially hit this month.  It still comes along, the reality of it slamming into me every few days or so and there’s excitement and anxiety and stress and joy and stress, all rolled into one happy little vortex of emotions.

I’m definitely ready to come back and it’s turned into a sort of “anywhere but here” kind of thing.  I’m just done.  I’ve got my lists of things to accomplish before the 29th and I feel like I’m plugging along quite nicely, but the panic is still there.  I think it’s more to do with the worry that I won’t get everything done in time.
My last day of work is the Friday before my flight (Monday), so I’m trying to get all of this done on the weekends (typically when I meet people to sell things) and during the week before work (when I do anything that involves government offices/post office/etc.)

People have said they’re surprised at how “early” I’ve started doing everything, and honestly, moving overseas is no joke.  It shocks me in return to see so many people who leave it all til the last minute and are scrambling to pack suitcases the night before their flight.

For shorter trips, I do pack fairly last minute, but when I have to have my apartment completely empty, and I essentially can’t do anything in the days leading up to my flight (weekend) plus I’m moving out on the Thursday before (next week!)…I feel like I’m on the right track.

This difference in opinions is popping up when people say they want to meet to pick-up stuff, can’t meet for x reason this week, ask when I’m leaving, then ask to get it like two days before I move out.  Then, if they bail then, what am I supposed to do?  I’ll likely just pitch everything that I don’t sell, but I don’t need added stress if I can avoid it.

Also, I had my Farewell Party thing last night, which is the norm for all departing expats–also got people asking why I was having it “so early”, which shouldn’t matter, but whatevs.  Anyway, I had a nice group of people saying they were going to be there (as of Friday, party being Saturday) and then I ended up with two people coming because people were sick and/or didn’t want to get out because of the rain.  Then they said we could just reschedule and do something later.  Honestly, I don’t even want to bother anymore.  I just felt really disappointed and had it early because I’m moving out soon and don’t want to come back to someone else’s house after a drunken night out.
I know everyone has their reasons and I didn’t complain or say anything about it because I didn’t want to come off as some whiny, selfish brat.  It was nice though for what it was, but I definitely don’t see myself organizing any other events in the near future.  I’m also trying to save money for my return and for my England trip so I haven’t gone out to eat in awhile or gone out for a drink since like December (partially also because I don’t like being cold/winter), so heading out for another dinner and drinks night isn’t high on my list of priorities.

I think after I head home I’m going to take a social media break.  I need some time to unplug and pull away from all of this.

 

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One thought on “Learning to Fly

  1. Hey Stacey. Pretty sure everyone has those same emotions when making a big move like you are doing. Hug those kids and let them go like any good mom would do. People don’t always think about others feelings when a party is given and no one bothers to show up. BUT you admit yourself that the weather is/can be a decision maker. Shake it off and move on. Which you will be soon. Another major event in your life is taking place. We’re all watching to see the next step in your most eventful life. Happy Travels and Good Times are ahead. Continue to be the strong woman you are and stand tall. We’re so proud of you. Gram

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