Every Ending Is A New Beginning

So, I think this is officially my last post as StaceyInKorea as I’m sitting at Incheon Airport waiting to board my first of three flights back home.

For good this time. The sadness has been replaced with a good portion of anxiety and I guess fear (of the unknown, most likely). It feels like I’m about to take a giant leap but I can’t see where I’m jumping or how far down it is or what lies at the bottom. Here’s to new adventures and as one of my favorite quotes states “Everything will be alright in the end and if it is not alright, then it is not yet the end.”

And with that, 안녕히계세요! Thanks for sticking with me on this whirlwind of a journey. Onto the next adventure and to whatever lies ahead!

*

“When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”

(Saved post from February 29, 2016)

Advertisements

The Tide is Turning

Woooow!  What a week.

*Moved out and in with a co-worker
*Closed my bank account
*Had my last days (MWF and T/TH) at work
*Had a pizza and wine night last night with my co-workers
*Caught a cold (not surprising–stress, being super busy and lots of sick kids…)

And here we are…my last weekend in Korea.

I’m actually not doing anything major to mark the occasion or anything.  I’m just exhausted from this week so just mostly hanging out around my friend’s place and grabbing coffee with a few peeps.

I broke down on Thursday when I was working 1-1 with one of my favorite girls.  We were working together on her homework and I ended up having to excuse myself because I couldn’t stop crying.  Er..
I’m not sure how I feel about crying in front of kids…I just felt like I shouldn’t at the time because I didn’t want her to feel worse or whatever, but then it also shows how much I care about her.  I mentioned that I would write to her if she wanted, and she came in the next day (Friday) and reminded me about it.  I didn’t want her to feel forced to when I mentioned it on Thursday during our 1-1, so I’m happy that she came up and said something yesterday.

Also, I just wanted to give a shout-out to myself.  I am sort of amazed at how much I’ve gotten accomplished this week.  Granted, I’ve worn myself into the ground and am physically and emotionally drained..but I got everything on my to-do list done.  Woo!  It was hard because I basically worked right up until the day of my flight and only had a few hours each morning to make sure that I got to each of the various government offices and sold everything that I needed to sell.  Just a few small things this weekend and…the flight on Monday morning (morning starting at 4am to catch the airport bus…hoo.rah.)

Anyway, this post is a grammatical mess and is as disorganized as my own brain, so here are some pictures.

 

And another favorite song:

All Of Me (Cover)–Max and Zendaya [John Legend]

 

Learning to Fly

So, I’ve got 15 days now til I’m (hey–mid-route) back to the US.
In case you haven’t been following along, I’ve been here four years and will be making returning home at the end of this month.

I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions, especially this month in particular.  I feel like the past few months have been me just saying “Oh yeah, I’m leaving in February” and it officially hit this month.  It still comes along, the reality of it slamming into me every few days or so and there’s excitement and anxiety and stress and joy and stress, all rolled into one happy little vortex of emotions.

I’m definitely ready to come back and it’s turned into a sort of “anywhere but here” kind of thing.  I’m just done.  I’ve got my lists of things to accomplish before the 29th and I feel like I’m plugging along quite nicely, but the panic is still there.  I think it’s more to do with the worry that I won’t get everything done in time.
My last day of work is the Friday before my flight (Monday), so I’m trying to get all of this done on the weekends (typically when I meet people to sell things) and during the week before work (when I do anything that involves government offices/post office/etc.)

People have said they’re surprised at how “early” I’ve started doing everything, and honestly, moving overseas is no joke.  It shocks me in return to see so many people who leave it all til the last minute and are scrambling to pack suitcases the night before their flight.

For shorter trips, I do pack fairly last minute, but when I have to have my apartment completely empty, and I essentially can’t do anything in the days leading up to my flight (weekend) plus I’m moving out on the Thursday before (next week!)…I feel like I’m on the right track.

This difference in opinions is popping up when people say they want to meet to pick-up stuff, can’t meet for x reason this week, ask when I’m leaving, then ask to get it like two days before I move out.  Then, if they bail then, what am I supposed to do?  I’ll likely just pitch everything that I don’t sell, but I don’t need added stress if I can avoid it.

Also, I had my Farewell Party thing last night, which is the norm for all departing expats–also got people asking why I was having it “so early”, which shouldn’t matter, but whatevs.  Anyway, I had a nice group of people saying they were going to be there (as of Friday, party being Saturday) and then I ended up with two people coming because people were sick and/or didn’t want to get out because of the rain.  Then they said we could just reschedule and do something later.  Honestly, I don’t even want to bother anymore.  I just felt really disappointed and had it early because I’m moving out soon and don’t want to come back to someone else’s house after a drunken night out.
I know everyone has their reasons and I didn’t complain or say anything about it because I didn’t want to come off as some whiny, selfish brat.  It was nice though for what it was, but I definitely don’t see myself organizing any other events in the near future.  I’m also trying to save money for my return and for my England trip so I haven’t gone out to eat in awhile or gone out for a drink since like December (partially also because I don’t like being cold/winter), so heading out for another dinner and drinks night isn’t high on my list of priorities.

I think after I head home I’m going to take a social media break.  I need some time to unplug and pull away from all of this.

 

Bliss + Resolutions Follow-Up

Just wanted to toot my own horn a bit in this post.

So, I had mentioned before that I’m not really a resolutions kind of girl.  I like to see what opportunities arise and then go after whatever come up.

However, my NY Resolutions for this year have been something that I had been aiming to achieve for awhile now.  I also knew that to make resolutions happen, they’re supposed to be short and very specific.  Not: “lose weight” or “spend less money”, but rather something you can track and actually make progress toward.  Anyway, that’s what I did with mine and so far so good!

Updates: I’m London-bound in March.  It’s a very short trip and one that I knew I really wanted to do before I got back home and essentially got tied down again.  I’ll be staying with friends the whole time so I’ll be saving massively on accommodation and I’ve already done the touristy stuff, so it’ll just be seeing friends mostly.  AND I found a great deal on a flight.  (It helps when you watch flight prices for months…)  SOOOOO yeah, pretty pumped.
Then back to the work life afterward and I’m 100% okay with that.

Also, this really isn’t anything to write home about, I guess, but one of my resolutions was to be able to do a handstand by the end of the year.  I’m not sure how realistic that is, but it seems do-able.  I actually need to edit that and make it “freestanding” handstand–that is, away from the wall. (Eeeee!!)
I tested it out last week at some point and it’s pretty difficult.  I’ve been using the wall for support, and have been practicing both yesterday and today.  So 2 for 2 then.  😀
I’m doing 3 sets of 30 seconds per day.  My hands are…about a foot and a half from the wall, but I’m able to support myself, so that’s pretty exciting.  Just gotta keep at it.

The reading 20 books resolution is…going…but at a turtle pace.  I’ve recently finished A Christmas Carol and have started on Throne of Glass, which is book 1 of a series.  Maybe I can knock out some more books on this book challenge on these international flights.

AND…I’ve registered and began part 1 of 3 of my Pediatric CPR/First-Aid course (the title is longer, but that’s all I can remember off-hand).  It’s a requirement for most pre-school or teaching jobs back home, plus a nifty life skill, so I’m excited to get that finished.
I’m doing part 1 online and then parts 2 and 3 have to be done with an instructor.  Those are the practical/exam portions.

Let’s see…I’ve got my resume updated and ready and have started selling off possessions.  I still have a lot of furniture though, so it hasn’t really hit yet.  It sort of comes in waves that I’m leaving.  It’s very bittersweet though.  I’m sad to leave the people I’ve met and my students (not looking forward to the last day with them…going to be a waterworks…), but I’m feeling very ready (or, as ready as I’ll ever be) and excited for this next chapter in my life to begin.

It also looks like I have an interview with a preschool back home as well.  I’ve been on their website and I’m so in love with what they’re doing at the school.  It looks like such a fun place for the kiddos, and I’m sure the adults too, ha.

Anyway, I’m just trying to take it a day at a time and to keep focused.  I’ve got all my to-do lists going in full-force and I feel like I’m keeping on schedule with everything, so yeah.  *exhale*

I just feel so…happy and content with where my life is going at the moment.  I was so worried for the longest time about adding in that trip to London honestly.  I kept second-guessing myself and wondering if I should be traveling so soon after returning home (two weeks after, actually), but now that it’s done, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m going to be able to see some friends I’ve met while in Korea but during my early years.  So, it’s been about 3 years since I’ve seen some of them, but we’ve kept in contact the whole time.
I was just so nervous that I’d return home, get my car and my job and not be able to save or break out of the routine and make the trip anytime soon.  Now, I just feel relief and excitement.
I’ll be home for Easter and the Fourth of July and just…bliss.

I’ve found peace among the madness that is going on around me.

f7c645dbd8b68802596862418c44778c

4792727dd311156c90a5ca0ea0a5c502

 

 

Nervous…

Feeling a bit anxious/nervous because none of the penpal letters have made it to their recipients in the US yet.  I have 3 different envelopes out and still waiting on all three of them.  I sent them 2 weeks ago, so I’m not sure why they’re taking this long.  They’re just letters 😦  There are about 50-70 students waiting on these letters…c’mon postal service, c’mon! 😦